What Are Core Ingredients of a Healthy Relationship?

Men and women, the two fundamentals of life find each other and fall in love. Evolution claims that the attractiveness of someone is determined by an unconscious judgment of their capabilities of reproduction according to the other side. But when it comes to real-life relationships, understanding each other has been challenging for decades.

Some people find themselves in years-long relationships that don’t evolve much, some feel stuck or some even keep a relationship because they feel secure. So how can you know whether your relationship isn’t one of these? In other words, what makes a relationship healthy? According to many resources (Healthline.com, University of Washington, Psychology Today), there are some significant signs of a good relationship.

1-    Trust

Trust is the #1 ingredient of any healthy relationship. It is established with honesty and integrity from both parties. Trust allows couples to rely on each other in any given circumstance. It also creates a foundation for an open intimacy between the couples. 

In trusting relationships, partners usually don’t have much of a need to control each other. They also don’t worry much about their relationships with friends or their whereabouts. Partners also feel comfortable sharing, communicating, and being themselves around each other. Trust can also promote further openness and understanding in a relationship. 

Negative signs: You often check each others' phones, you don’t feel comfortable when the partner is out with his/her friends, she/he has a need of knowing exactly where you are all the time.

2-    Communication

As humans, what makes us the most advanced animal on earth is our ability to communicate with each other in many different forms. However, when it comes to relationships, people find themselves holding their emotions or not sharing exactly their ideas.

Communication allows partners to openly discuss their ideas and find a solution to problems in their relationships. Being able to handle road bumps together, strengthens the bond and intimacy. Openly expressing concerns, emotions and ideas is a truly important element that lays a foundation for acceptance.

Negative signs: You don’t feel comfortable expressing your emotions or ideas to your partner, your partner disregards your opinions very often, you don’t feel listened to or your ideas don’t matter. 

3-    Empathy

Empathy is being able to shift your focus from yourself to the other person’s feelings and emotions. In other words, it is shifting your perspective to the other person’s view. People who can empathize with others can have a better understanding and acceptance. Understanding each other is very significant for solution finding and progression of the relationship.

 Someone who doesn’t feel understood may experience frustration, lack of interest, or disconnect from the relationship. When couples have empathy for each other, problems are usually solved and partners are able to support each other in different life situations.

Negative signs: Seems like your partner never understands you, you only care about your life changes, making plans together is almost impossible. 

4-    Appreciation

Being in gratitude and appreciation with the relationship and partner is significant for many reasons. One reason is that when we are in gratitude, all the positive aspects of the person and the relationship come up to the surface. It is easier to recognize each others’ strengths and what they each bring into the relationship when both partners appreciate each other. 

Appreciation can be about what the partner physically does for the relationship such as helping with the chores, walking the dog, or planning the vacation. It also can be directly about the person such as being kind, loving, or thoughtful. 

Negative signs: You don’t feel valued in your relationship, you don’t remember when was the last time you heard “thank you” or a compliment from your partner.

5-    Respect

As the relationships progress and the honeymoon stage fades away, both partners slowly open up their hidden selves more and more. This is exactly when respect becomes a very fundamental value for the relationship.

As the flaws and frailties of your partner surface themselves (and yours) respecting each other brings the partners closer. It is understandable that accepting someone’s flaws can be pretty challenging. Therefore, even if you are not ready to accept their flaws just yet, if you respect them, you will create an open ground for the transformation and longevity of your relationship.

 Negative signs: Your partner talks down on you, he makes the decisions for your relationship without asking your opinions.

6-    Intimacy and Interest

Sex and being interested in each other romantically is an important element of a relationship not only for physical reasons but also for individual self-esteem and connectedness to each other as well.

A number of studies show that sex by itself is very beneficial for human health because it can directly affect someone’s mood positively. During sex, we release love hormones such as oxytocin and serotonin. These hormones make us happy, fulfilled, and feel loved.

In relationships in which there are interest and intimacy, partners are more confident in themselves and their role in the relationship.

Negative signs: You don’t have much of a sex life with your partner anymore, you don’t remember when was the last time you heard a compliment from your partner.

7-    Individuality 

When we are in a relationship, sometimes we get caught up with the great feelings and excitement that love brings into our lives. However, it is important to remember that life continues and what makes you attractive and unique -especially to your partner- are you and your life separate from the relationship. 

It is great to do activities together with your lover but do you also have time for yourself? Do you spend time with your friends? What about your hobbies? In a healthy relationship, both partners bring in what is unique to them in addition to merging together. This allows better communication, longer interest in the relationship, and provides coping techniques for both of the partners.

 Negative signs: Your friends think you abandoned them, you have no time for your hobbies, you don’t have much to talk about with your partner, you hardly do anything without your partner.