How to Win Friends With These 5 Tips ?

Source: Southern Living

Imagine that you are going to a very important networking event (I know after COVID, this may be too hard to imagine but still, give it a try). How are you planning to make valuable contacts within this important group of people?

Some people -mostly extroverts- are naturally comfortable in networking environments. You can see them mingling, laughing, and making friends in a heartbeat. They can leave people feeling like they’ve known each other for decades.

There are also other people like me who are absolutely terrified of networking events. You can find these people dragging their feet or trying to find ways to cancel their visit. However, networking can often be very promising to meet with new business contacts or make new friends.

Meeting new people and making new friends don’t have to be a dreadful event. It can actually be very easy and effortless, especially if you pay attention to these few tips that can improve your connection with others instantly!

1-    Ask them questions 

Being interested in someone is one of the easiest ways of building a connection. What is the quickest way of showing your interest in someone? The answer is; asking questions.

By asking questions, not only do you show interest in someone’s story but also you can actually understand and learn their perspective -which could eventually give you more advantages later on as well-.

By asking questions about their life, story, or themselves you can build genuine connections with others, while you don’t have to worry about doing the talking! Asking questions also makes people feel important and cared for, which leads to trust. And of course, trust lays at the core of any healthy relationship.

2-    Observe their physical movements

According to the Los Angeles psychologist Albert Mehrabian, only 7% of our communication is verbal. The rest, 93% consists of verbal cues, vocal tones, and visuals. If you pay attention to everyone around you, you will realize that there are some physical gestures and moves that we all do in accordance with our emotions.

For example, many people will cross their arms around themselves when they are nervous or when they enter an unknown dialog. Many people will move their hands towards you when they are trying to relate something to you. These are just a few common examples.

When you observe the person right across from you carefully, you can catch them where they are emotionally. Take some time to observe the person to understand their physical cues. After you have a good understanding, match them where they are. Are they crossing their arms? Are they tapping their foot? Mimic their behavior. This will help them to connect with you physically as well.

3-    Nod your head

Did you know your head nod means a lot more than just a physical sign of agreement? When I read the headline “Does nodding make you more popular?” from Medical News Today, I was convinced. And there is actually plenty of research behind the connection between nodding head and likeability.

Same Medical News Today's article reported that two researchers based in Japan were curious about the effects on the two very common head gestures: nodding and shaking head. Their findings point out that nodding heads increased perceived attractiveness. When they tested their hypothesis on real people, they concluded that nodding increased likeability by 30 percent and also increased approachability by 40 percent.

According to another article that was published in Science Daily and written by Ohio State University, nodding your head not only makes you more agreeable and likable but also, your head shake and head nod may be affecting your own feelings.

The conclusion is simple; nod your head whenever you are building a meaningful connection with someone.

4-    Maintain eye contact

Eye contact is another physical cue that shows interest and trust in the other person. When they say eyes never lie, they are not lying after all!

Think about yourself. When someone lies, they will avoid eye contact, or similarly, when someone is confident, they will look directly in the eyes of the person to show their strength and belief in themselves.

To build that human-to-human connection, look inside the person’s eyes. Show your confidence. Even when listening to the other person, this will show that you are tuned in to their story.

5-    Agree while you disagree

Disagreements of course -especially with someone you’ve just met- may feel a bit distancing. Not the best way to connect with someone, huh?

So how do you relay your opinion without making it a turn-off for the other person? By agreeing with them! Let me explain: 

Think of the last time you had a disagreement with someone. Although you may disagree with certain aspects of the topic, there are always a few things that you can agree on. For instance, say I didn’t like a pasta dish that the person across me really enjoyed. I may disagree that it wasn’t tasty but also I may agree that it was fresh or it was cooked with healthy ingredients. We can find these opposite points in almost every argument.

So, when you are about to disagree with someone that you’ve just met, first agree with them. Agree with the aspects that you believe are right. Then, add your point with a tiny little “but”. Sort of like this one “Yes, you are right, the pasta was very fresh and had great ingredients. But I didn’t like the taste as much.”.

Simple, yet effective. A sentence that feels like an agreement but yet describes a disagreement.

Final words

The first step to all of these is, of course, to get out! Put yourself out there. The first few times may require some practice and paying attention. However, the more you gain experience, the easier time you will have, and actually, you may have some fun! Soon, you will realize that socializing and networking are nothing but second nature to you!

If you find that you suffer from severe anxiety during social events or anticipatory anxiety before social situations, you may consider asking your therapist about social anxiety. In either case, hypnotherapy is a good option to feel more comfortable during these times. Want to know how? Click here to read about how hypnotherapy can help with social anxiety!