Getting Over Feelings of Failure

Just like success, failure is an inevitable part of life. However feeling the intense feeling of failure can significantly affect one’s mood, motivation, and results in general. If we know how to handle the feelings of failure, we can manage it more effectively and continue to move forward rather than getting stuck in a rut.

Feelings of failure can sometimes get so intense that it can lead to procrastination or a fear of failure. In an attempt to protect yourself from this feeling subconsciously, you can find yourself avoiding starting in the first place. They say you don’t have to be great to start but you have to start to be great. So you would be missing the first and the most important step!

Thankfully, there are ways to get around these intense feelings of failure. Some of these techniques involve prevention and some include changing your perspective.

Here is how you can start dealing with those feelings starting from today:

How to manage feeling like a failure

At the end of the day, we all face failure from time to time. How we respond to failure makes the difference between becoming more experienced and stalling your progress. Accepting this reality of life and being prepared for when it happens can really make all the difference.

Reframe your thoughts

Oftentimes, we see success and failure as a black and white matter however the "in-between" area is where life happens; that's the part where we gain experience, maturity, and self-awareness. We tend to underestimate this fact and only focus on the result: Success or failure. Therefore, the first step is to refocus on the journey rather than the end result.

Remember that we can never fail or lose in the journey towards success. It’s only a learning experience or getting the end result.

We can reframe our thoughts to feel more empowered when feeling like a failure.

Know your expectations

I also recommend becoming aware of your expectations. Expectations are usually learned beliefs and others' opinions since childhood. We learn about these expectations from family members and our social circle. What they decide to view as success becomes our view as well.

Even though these beliefs may not make sense anymore, subconsciously, we may get stuck chasing them because that's what we know. Becoming aware of where the expectation comes from can help with releasing the intensity of feelings of failure. 

Set realistic goals

Being realistic about goals is also an important denominator of success. If you set unrealistic and unattainable goals, you are almost setting yourself up for failing. On the contrary, if you aim for about 2 times more than what you have at hand, you are more likely to be successful.

Setting realistic goals will not only help you reach success but also will increase your confidence. You will find that inner motivation comes easy and you can stay on the right track with minimal effort.

Expectations, expectations, expectations

Overall, what makes us feel like a failure is the expectations we set to begin with. By managing our expectations wisely, we can avoid feeling like a failure and instead, recognize our achievements more!

The key is to let go of expectations as much as possible. I know, this may be easier said than done. But the less expectations you have, the more you can enjoy the process and notice the great milestones you accomplish.