Do you have something that you constantly dream of, but simply cannot get close to that dream?

This time, try something different and turn the mirror to yourself. It’s time to understand how the way you portray and reflect yourself is affecting your results.

Being a millennial living in Los Angeles, I am surrounded by people who are constantly looking for new adventures, relationships, or jobs. Most of them complain about not being able to have what they desire. Eventually, they find themselves stuck in this vicious cycle of trial-error-complaint.

Recently, I realized that many of us are great at blaming outside factors for the results we can’t achieve. However, most of the time, in order to break a cycle like this, what we really need to do is look deeper within and simply observe what aspects of our minds we can improve in order to live that “dream” life we all desire.

Do you know who you are?

The first step is to understand who you really are. What are the values, characteristics, and beliefs that you bring to the table? How would people describe you? How would you describe yourself? And how would you like others to describe you?

Answering these questions will help you understand yourself with more clarity. Once you understand who you truly are, you can then start to recognize some similarities between yourself and the situations that you are currently in.

Coincidentally because most of the things we experience in life are mere reflections of ourselves; what we deliver to others, is usually what we get in return. The treatment and behaviors that we receive from others is their reaction to our actions.

For example, many people complain about not being able to find a reliable and trustworthy partner. On the other hand, they, themselves, exhibit untrustworthy acts unconsciously and wonder why they cannot sustain a good relationship.

Bottom line is that it’s really important to understand who we are, instead of focusing on what we ‘think’ we are.

We attract what we ARE; not what we want 

When the Law of Attraction theory came out, many people read, researched, and learned about the idea behind it because they were excited to attract their dream life! In time, just by ‘wanting’ and ‘envisioning’ they couldn’t reach their goals and they got disappointed. Eventually, most people lost their belief in the theory.

The real logic behind the Law of Attraction is that we attract what we are. For example, if you feel like you are unworthy, you will attract people who treat you like you are unworthy. If you believe that you are a successful person, you will be surrounded by success.

To change the direction, the first thing you need to do is to become aware of your current situation. In other words, you need to refer back to square one: Understand who you really are.

Secondly, you need to activate your emotional state by imagining, envisioning, or basically ‘feeling as if’. Imagine, you feel unsuccessful in your work. Then try thinking about someone you would look up to in terms of success. Think of how would that person feel, do, act and respond in different situations. We all have the necessary emotions that we need to activate within and all we have to do is to apply them to daily life.

The reality of the relationships 

When we first meet with someone, we are on our best behavior. We try to look our best, we strive to be sharp in all aspects and it is easier to make sacrifices in the beginning. This is called ‘the honeymoon stage’ in a relationship.

In the honeymoon stage, both partners do their best to be attractive and interesting to the other side. As the relationship progresses, we start showing our real personalities, characteristics, and flaws. As the downfalls are revealed, the partners start to complain about each other or get irritated.

The most common phrase I hear from some of my clients is that “he/she changed after we got married”. This means that ‘the Honeymoon’ stage came to an end and both sides are not willing to compromise for each other as much as they once used to.

Remember, our partners’ actions are the response to our acts. We cannot change anyone just because we want them to change but if we modify our actions our partner will adapt to our changes as well.

Think about some of the things that you used to do at the ‘Honeymoon Stage’. Now, also think about things that you used to sacrifice easily in that same stage. Are you still doing and accepting those things? If you changed your actions, your partner has a right to change theirs too.

The impeccable balance of giving and taking

There is a beautiful balance of giving and taking within the energetic realm. If someone takes too much, their energy portrays the message that they are in need. On the contrary, when someone gives too much, their energy signals that they don’t need anything.

Therefore, keeping the delicate balance between giving and taking is the key to a healthy relationship.

Result

Are you courageous enough to explore your mind? If you are, then let’s start now! Because the moment you understand yourself, you will quickly realize why many things you are trying to accomplish have been hard for you to achieve.